I'll be There
by LaurenF93
Summary: The mountains are years behind them and Sam, Chris, Ashley, Mike, Jessica, and Emily have mostly put it behind them. Josh is another story though. He can't forgive himself for anything, but the past is slowly slipping back into his head. Will he let go and allow his friends to pull his from his own darkness?
1. Come to Dinner?

_Mrs. Washington- Sam I don't know what to do or who to turn to. Josh was doing fine when he got out of the hospital. He seemed to be getting so much better. They even lowered his medication. But now... he's stopped taking it completely. He says it makes his head swim and he doesn't like it. He's falling again Smantha. We woke up last night to him screaming from the guest house. He won't talk to me either, just blows it all off once morning comes around._

 _Sam- Maybe he needs to go back Melinda. I hate to even suggest that, but you and Bob don't have the ability to watch over him._

 _Mrs. Washington- I can't do that to him Samantha. When he was in the hospital he was just... he was gone. It was like I was looking at a shell of my son. The first day when we brought him home was the first time I had seen him smile in three years. He had some life in him. I just can't send my baby back there. I was wondering if maybe you could talk to him maybe come over and have dinner with us._

 _Sam- I don't know Melinda. You know Josh hasn't spoken to any of us since... since the day the cabin burned down. I even tried visiting him while he was in the hospital, we all did. He refused to see us. I think it might put more of a strain on him if I came around._

 _Mrs. Washington- Oh Sammy please! Josh always talked to you when he wouldn't talk to anyone else. There were times when I believed you two were closer than he was to his own sisters. I really believe that if he spent sometime with you he would finally begin to heal. Maybe even see the rest of his old friends. Chris has been calling every day to see how he's doing. Josh won't talk to him though._

 _Sam- I really want to make sure it's alright with Josh Mrs. Washington. I don't want to upset things more than they already are._

 _Mrs. Washington- Thank you Sam! You are like one of my daughters I hope you know that. You're wonderful._

 _Sam- Thank you Mrs. Washington. I have a busy week ahead of me with finales coming up, but I'll text Josh and see if this weekend will be okay._

 _Mrs. Washington- Great! Samantha... he really sorry for eveything he did. I had a meeting with his psychologist last Monday. He hasn't voiced it, but there are many signs that say he is pushing you all away because he is afriad you won't forgive him._

 _Sam- I hate that he feels that way. We all have forgiven him. This all will take time. We'll hopefully start with dinner and see how things go._

Sam sat in their groups usual spot at starbucks and sipped on her Pumpkin Spiced Latte. It had been three days since their conversation, and she had read and reread the messages several times. Melinda had called her on day two to ask dinner was still on for Saturday or Sunday night. Sam had lied, saying that she hadn't had chance to text of call Josh because of her studying for finales. The truth was she hadn't because she didn't know what she would say.

She had started to text Josh as soon as she ended her conversation with Melinda, but she had deleted the text. She couldn't help but remember the first time she went to go see Josh in the hospital. She asked the nurse to keep it a surprise as to who was visiting him. Both she and Chris wanted to see him and bring him a few things to show that they wanted to try and mend the broken thing that was their friendship. They hadn't expected what happened next. Josh wasn't even kind of happy to see them. He immediately snapped, started shouting at them to leave, that he didn't want to see them. The nurse quickly ushered out of the room and two more male orderlies came in. Sam had watched in a panic as the two male strapped him to that awful bed and the female nurse injected him with a sedative.

They found out later that the morning nurse hadn't given Josh his medication, that combined with seeing two of the people he had tormented so soon after the incident caused a psychotic break. They'd been informed that there could be no more surprised visits. After that every time the group came to see him, Josh turned them away.

What if he turned her away again just like in the hospital? What if even texting him cause him to break? So many things worried her. She didn't want to hurt Josh. Even after what he had done. Hell she should hate him. She should want nothing to do with him, they all should. But every time it came up they all remembered why it all happened.

The stupid prank that Jessica, Emily, Mike, Ashely, and Matt and played on Hannah... The prank that ended in both Hannah and her sister Beth being killed. Or so they had thought... They would all look at each other silently and after a few moments of deathly silence they would all agree that, though what Josh had planned for them up in the mountain was awful, they had caused the illness that crept into Joshua's head and drove him to his actions.

Sam jumped at the sudden presents of another person sitting in front of her. But looking up her nerves eased as she saw Chris' smiling face.

"How goes it study queen? Are the books speaking their wisdom to you yet?" He teased eyeing the books covering the table and even more in a pile on the seat next to her.

"Hardy Har, you guys should be studying to. Your Chemisty finale is tomorrow and if I remember correctly you need to ace that class to pass." Sam smirked.

"Yeah, well I studied before we came to meet you guys. So where is everyone else? We're late as is." Chris said as Ashley walked up to the table with two drinks in hand.

Chris smiled and took one of them. "Thanks babe."

"Yeah they're late. Mike called and said he and Jess were caught up in traffic. And Emily is at a hair appointment or something... maybe she said nails. I don't know. She's got a modeling thing tomorrow." Sam said staring down at her phone.

"What's up Sam? You seem... I don't know, out of it." Ashley said taking a sip of her Latte.

"Yeah... I just..." Sam stammered closing her Comp 2 book. "I... I got a text from Melinda the other day."

Chris sat forward instantly. "Is it Josh?"

"Yeah" She said. "She is worried about him. He stopped taking his meds because they mess with his head, but it sounds like not taking them is causing him to have nightmares. She asked me... she asked if I'd come to dinner this weekend."

"Does Josh know?" Chris asked.

"No, She wanted to surprise him, but I insisted on talking with him first."

"But you said you talked with Mrs. Washington the OTHER day." Ashley chimmed in. "How does Josh not know yet?"

Sam looked down at the table. "I... haven't contacted him yet. He hasn't wanted to see us for two years. I don't think he'll just all of the sudden want to see me."

"I think you just need to go." Said Chris forcefully enough to make both Sam and Ashley look at him. "Yeah you heard me right. He's been hiding from us for four months. He ignores our calls, doesn't call us. It's time we start just going over and talking with him face to face."

"I'm just worried about how me showing up will..."

"Hey, hey, hey why the long faces ladies and gents?" Mike asked sitting down next to Sam and pulling Jessica into his lap.

"Mike stop! I can sit in the booth." Jessica protested sliding off his lap, a hit of red coloring her cheeks.

"Sam is going over to the Washingtons to have dinner." Ashley said.

"Ashley!" Sam shouted.

"What! Did Josh finally call you?" Mike said in surprise.

"Who is he?" Jessica asked, she had never really been angry with Josh. Hannah had grabbed her before the 'pranks' started.

Sam grumbled. "No Mike, Josh hasn't talked to any of us at all. Mrs. Washington asked me to come to dinner as a surprise."

"Well if anyone should be able to get to him it will be you Sammy." Jessica encouraged.

"I haven't even said I would go yet." Sam insisted.

"Why?" Both Mike and Jess asked together.

"She's worried that Josh won't want her there." Chris said.

"No that's not it. Josh still isn't okay guys. Melinda told me he won't see us because he thinks we hate him for what he did." Sam said. "And I don't want his seeing me to mess up his recovery."

"Sam, you need to go." Mike said.

"What?" She looked over at him.

"You need to go. Josh needs to see that we aren't angry at him. And you're the best one to see him first. You know him the best after all. Since you, Beth, and Hannah grew up together you are like family."

"That's what Melinda said." Sam sighed. "But what if he won't answer my calls od texts? I mean he hasn't for four months right?"

"Don't tell him." Chris said flatly.

Sam looked over at him. "I can't do that Chris. You of all people know why." The thought or her first visit to the hospital with Chris to see Josh.

"Sam that was back when Josh was first admitted to the hospital. He hadn't had time to get better. The chances of that happening again are slim to none." Chris tried to assure her.

Sam sighed, "Maybe you're right." She pulled out her phone and pulled up Melinda's number. With a deep breath she hit the call button.

"Hello Sam! How are you?" Melinda asked happily.

"I'm good, I was thinking about what we talked about the other day. About dinner..." Sam started.

"Oh yes, just one moment."

Sam could her Mrs. Washington walking and then a door open and close. She waited quietly, assuming that she was putting distance between herself and Josh.

"Okay, sorry Samantha. Josh had just come into the kitchen. What about dinner honey. I haven't heard from Josh about you talking with him." Melinda said.

"I haven't tried yet. I was thinking and the chances of him answering me when he hasn't wanted anything to do with any of us for so long... I think I should just come. Do you think that's a good idea?" Sam asked as she twiddled her pencil.

Jessica, Mike, Chris, and Ashley started at her waiting for an answer.

"Yes, yes I think that would be best. I mentioned you yesterday and he went white. I do believe he wouldn't have answered you." Melinda said sadly.

Sam felt for her. She's lot Hannah and Beth, now Josh was her only baby left, and it felt like she was losing him as well. "Don't worry Melinda... I'll do everything I can to help Josh. We all will if he'll let us."

There was a pause on the other end and Sam's heart skipped a beat when she heard a familiar voice from a distance away.

"Hey mom, dad wants you to come and eeat dinner already. It's getting cold." Josh callled.

"I'll be there in a minute. So how does Saturday at 9pm sound?" She asked in a hussed tone.

"Saturday at 9pm sounds fantastic. I'll see you then Melinda." Sam said.

"Sam I can't tell you how happy I am you're coming. Love you honey."

"Love you too, bye bye." Sam said with a smile and then hung up the phone.

At that moment Emily walked up to their table. "What's up guys?"

"Sam is having dinner with Josh and his parents Saturday night." Ashley said.


	2. It's Time to Reach Out

"Josh... Joshua!"

Josh shook his head and looked up at the man sitting in front of him. Dr. Elliot Miller, the psychiatrist that he had been assigned to him as a requirement for his probation. Josh had been none to thrilled when he found out that even though he was being released from the nut house he would still have to continue seeing a psychiatrist for a minumum of one year. But he had to admit Dr. Miller wasn't anything like the doctors he had in the hospital. He was actually pretty cool. He didn't push or make Josh talk about things he didn't want to.

There was one session where Josh was so wound up that Dr. Miller just sat and waited for the first half hour until Josh was ready to say something.

"Sorry Dr. Miller... I guess a spaced out for a minute there. Did you ask me something?" He asked fiddling with the fidget pen he always brought with him the the sessions.

"I asked if you have been keeping up with your journal? I'd like you to ring it in next session so I can read over it." Dr. Miller said looking at Josh with concern.

"Um... yeah, yeah I've been keeping up with it. I don't write in it every day though. Just on days when I..." He paused looking at the ground. _When I hear them talking to me._ He thought to himself and then looked up at Dr. Miller again. "I've been keeping up with it."

"Good, I'm glad to hear that. Journaling can be a life saving thing for people like you and me." Dr. Miller smiled at him then wrote something down on his notepad.

"Like you and me?" Josh questioned.

"Yes, I lost my brother when I was seven. He was on a trip celebrating his graduation from high school. They were hiking up in the mountains and a cougar attacked. I've been right were you are Josh. This is a very difficult thing to come to terms with. It took me about nine years before I felt like I could stop seeing my doctor." Dr. Miller picked up a framed photo from his desk and handed it over to Josh.

Timidly Josh took the photo and looked at it. It was a picture of a lake and in the front was what looked to be a six or seven year old Dr. Miller and a older kid, Dr. Millers brother. They both had big grins and a huge lagre mouthed bass in each hand. "Man, those are some big as fish." Josh said with a chuckle.

"Josh"

"Sorry Dr. Miller, I keep forgetting." Josh said sheepishly, and handed the photo back to the man.

"Yeah, that was a month before Billy left for his trip. He wanted to spend as much time with me as he could because after the trip he was going straight to university. So I know how you feel Josh. Now I know that's not the only reason you're hear, but it all stems from that. The sessions you had with Dr. Hill after your sisters disappeared didn't last very long and I think that made things even worse for you." He said setting the photo back on his desk.

"I didn't like Dr. Hill. He spent all his time telling me how I was feeling instead of asking me how I was feeling. And his solution was to shove me on drugs until I got better." Josh said bitterly.

Dr. Hill was supposed to have been the top psychiatrist in the field and his parents had put a lot of money into that jackass, but he'd done nothing but talk and shove pills down Josh's throat. After six months Josh couldn't take it anymore. He told his parents he wasn't going to another session and that he wanted to move up to the lodge for a while and just be alone.

That's when he stopped taking his meds and the voices started. And then he started planning on a way to... _No! Just fucking no! We are here right now to get over this shit._

"Josh, are you sleeping alright? You have started looking more and more exhausted these last few sessions."

Josh hesitated for a moment. He knew he should tell Dr. Miller what was going on but he didn't want to be put back on the meds again. He hated them, they fucked with his head. He couldn't focus when he was taking them. Sure he was losing sleep. Okay yeah, they were talking to him again. But alteast he had a clear head after a few hours of sleep and felt like getting out of bed in the morning.

"Um, I guess I'm having some trouble sleeping, but it's nothing major." He said. _Fucking lair..._

"Josh I'm going to advise you again that I don't believe being off your meds is the right choice at this time. You're hear reliving through things that you don't want to. You need something that will keep you level. Of course it is your decission, and I won't force you to take them again unless I see a drastic change in your behavior. I just have concerns." Dr. Miller said leaning forward and clasping his hands together.

Josh shook his head. "I'm fine doc, honest. Sleeping has just been a little hard lately is all. I don't want the meds, I hate them. They make me feel like I can't get out of bed, not that I don't want to, physically CAN'T get out of bed. I can't have that when I need to get up and go to work in the morning."

"That's right you did get a job recently. How is that going for you?" Miller asked with a great deal of interest.

"Good, I don't really need it, my parents have like a whole fund thing set up for me and they have even asked me to come work with them when I wanted to , but I got this job so I could get out of the house and away from them for a while. I like doing things with my hands, and I've always liked working on cars so it's good." Josh said with a shrug.

"Good, I'm glad here you're able to get out of the house and socialize. What about friends? Have you been reconnecting with the people you hung out with?" Dr. Miller asked.

"No," Josh said without hesitation. "They don't need me in their lives. I..."

 _You went all Friday the 13_ _th_ _on them is what you did you sick fuck!_

Josh swallowed hard and squeezed his eyes shut counting backwards from ten to one slowly in his head. He opened his eyes and looked at Dr. Miller. "I don't deserve to be in their lives."

Dr. Miller frowned. "Josh, don't talk like that, don't even think like that. I'm sure your friends care a great deal about you. And I know for a fact that your friend Christopher Hartley calls your mother everyday to see if you are okay."

Josh looked at Dr. Miller blankly.

"Your mother has called me several times Joshua. She doesn't ask about our sessions, but she tells me about things she knows all to well that you won't tell me. She loves you Josh, and she's worried about you." He said smiling.

Josh sighed and hung his head staring at the ground. "I know she does doc. I just... they are better off without me."

"They obviously don't think that Josh." Dr. Miller said and looked up at his clock. "Well Joshua, our time is up for today. I want to see you next week some time, and don't forget to bring the journal please."

They both stood and Dr. Miller walked Josh to the door as always, but before opening it and wishing him a good afternoon he paused and placed his hands on Josh's shoulders. "Josh I want you to do something for me between now and our next session. I want you to talk to someone from your group of friends. It can just be you saying hello. Just give it a try. You might find that you want them to be around right now. Isolation is a miserable thing, and I won't always be there for you to talk to. Friends are very very important Josh. Can you please do that for me?"

Josh stared at the doctor. He didn't know if he could. He was so awful to them. And anytime they came to see them in the hospital they had refused to see them. He dind't know if he would know what to say of do if he did contact them. "Just to say hi?" He asked.

"Just to say hi. You know, just test the waters. No need to jump right into the deep end." He said dropping his hands. "I'm sure Christopher would want to here from you. And there was someone else you sticks out to. Your mother told me about her. She was friends with your sister Hannah. Almost like family she said. Oh what was her name... started with an S..."

"Samantha..." Josh said going rigid.

"That's right Samantha Giddings. She tried to see you a lot when you were in the hospital." Dr. Miller said.

"Yeah, um... maybe I'll text one of them." Josh said.

Dr. Miller nodded. "Good, that's good. Well Josh, I look forward to seeing you next week." He said and opened up the door. "Try and get a bit more sleep thought Josh car work is not something you shuold do when you're tired."

Josh nodded and left the office quickly. _Yeah doc the last person I plan on talking to is Sammy._

As had become routine over the last four months Melinda waited for Josh on the street in front of Dr. Millers office. She didn't start a conversation when Josh got in the car. She knew that sometimes he needed to take some time and compose himself before he was ready to talk. So she would start up the car, and drive down to his favorite burger place, they'd go in grab a table, order, and by the time their food got there Josh was ready to talk.

Josh took a few bites of his burger then looked up at her. "So Dr. Miller told me you have been calling him."

"I have." Melinda said taking a bite of her salad.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Josh... this is hard for everyone. It's the hardest for you, but me and your father are right there with you."

"Mom I know you two are going throug this to, but if you're having trouble you can go and talk to your own therapist. These sessions are supposed to be between Dr. Miller and me." Josh snap staring at her.

"Well have you told Dr. Miller that you have friends that have been trying to see you and talk to you since you were sent to the hospital? Did you tell him you have been putting as much effort as you can into shutting them out when they want to be there for you?" She askedstaring right back at him.

"I didn't feel like it was nessacary to bring it up."

"Not nessecary?! Josh you're friends are reaching out to you! They are trying to forgive you and be here for you right now. And you are so intent on not forgiving yourself that you won't let them forgive you. I feel as though that is pretty damn important for Dr. Miller to know." Melinda said her voice cracking slightly.

Josh sighed, "Mom, come on please don't get upset." He hadn't ment to snap at her. He knew she was only trying to help. "I just... I told Dr. Miller today and I'll tell you know. They are better off without me in their lives."

"Joshua, Chris calls you every day, and Ashley is always there to. He cares about you. Jessica and Mike and Emily text me on average of nine to ten times a month to see how you're doing because you won't answer their calls. And Samantha... I don't think I need to remind you that she went to the hospital every day and you repaid her kindness by turning her away. Sam came over here once a week to have dinner and make sure your father and I were doing okay. We went out just me and her twice a month to relax and talk. Josh they all love you. They all want to know you are okay." Melinda said looking down at her plate.

Josh stayed silent for a time. Just eating his burger and fries. Voices scratching at his head.

 _You don't deserve such loyalty... you're a psycopath... you could give Freddy fucking Kroger a run for his money...you deserve to be isolated._

Scratching, digging deeper and deeper into his head. Josh ground his teeth together and closed his eyes. Slowly breathing out he counted _10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1...0..._ And they were gone. No voices, so screams. He couldn't keep going on like this. Something had to give. _Just a phone call or a text. That's all you have to do. No need to dive straight into the deep end._

He sighed, "Dr. Miller agrees with you."

Melinda looked up at her son, the tiniest glint of hope twinkling in her eyes.

"He wants me to at least reach out and say hello to them. Test the waters... so I guess the next time Chris calls i'll say hello. But I'm not going out or anything. I'm not there yet." He said looking down at his plate.

Melinda reached out and touch Josh's arm. "My sweet sweet boy. I'm so sorry... you shouldn't have to go through this. Me and your father should have done more after Beth and Hannah... Dr. Hill was a horrible choice we made for you. I just wish we had seen it sooner." She whispered.

Josh pulled back, hiding his face from his mother. "I think I'm gonna take the rest of this to go. I have to use the restroom first." And he all but flew to the mens room.

Melinda watched him go. She new what he was doing, but she would give him his space. So she called the waitress over and requested the check and a to go box. She paid and packed up his food and left for the car. Which Josh was already waiting at. He eyes red from tears shed hidden away from the world. He tried his best not to look at her, to hide his face, but she knew, a mother always knows when there baby has been crying.

"Thanks for packing the food." Josh said taking the box from her so she could pull the keys out of her purse. "I'm sorry mom. I'm trying to get better."

Melinda shook her head. "No... no Joshua you don't need to apologize. You are doing everything you can, your dad and I both see that. I know there are times when I'm pushing you, god knows your father points them out anytime he is around. But it's because I care Josh. I want to help, and I know you won't ask for it, you're stubborn just like your father, so I do the things I think are right by you."

"I know mom. I love you and dad both." Josh sighed.

Melinda took a deep breath bitting back the tears that threatened to press through at any minute. "We love you too... lets get going. We need somethings at the store and then we'll head home."

Josh nodded and got in the passangers seat as Melinda crossed to the drivers side.


End file.
